If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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