i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I love you.
Bad choice
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
