What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
