It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
