Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
