3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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