should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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