You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
