He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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