I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
