Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize