You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
