yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I fill condoms, not promises.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
