the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
