I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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