I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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