You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
