I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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