He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
