is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
