I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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