The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize