a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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