Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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