I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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