I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
