he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Operation Purity has been aborted
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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