I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
