i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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