i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
