guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The air was thick with penises
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
