Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
