I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i dont even know how to be here
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
