Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
