Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
3 2 1 whiskey
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
