After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Who died my cat blue again?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
