I bet he comes in French.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
