Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
