How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize