You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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