So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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