I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
