I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
