I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do vagina's smell?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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