Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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