Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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