If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize