not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
