Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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