NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
