Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
