They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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