drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
