My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
