Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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