you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
