Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
