I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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