we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
