I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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