Where are you?
In a non slutty way
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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