We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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