At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
