he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
