Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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